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Why You Sometimes Feel Sad After Sex, Even When It’s Good Sex

为何有时候你会在一场美妙的性爱之后感觉难过?



When he was in his early 20s, Los Angeles-based writer Brandon G. Alexander often felt an inexplicable sadness after sex, even when it was “good” sex with people he liked.

洛杉矶作家布兰德亚历山大在自己20岁出头的时候,经常会在做爱之后感受到一种难以言表的悲伤,即便是在和自己喜欢的人的一场“很美妙的”性行为之后。

“The best way to describe the feeling is empty or sometimes shame, depending on my relationship and intention with the person,” the 30-year-old founder of the men’s lifestyle site New Age Gents told HuffPost. “Our culture teaches men how to be physically connected to someone, but we ignore the truth that sex is highly emotional and spiritual. The idea that a man wouldn’t feel something before, during or after sex is unrealistic, but most have become so conditioned to think otherwise.”

“我能想到的对那种感觉最好的描述就是一种空虚的感觉,有时也会是一种羞耻的感觉,这取决与我和那个人的关系以及我对她的意图。”这位30岁的男式生活网站“新时代绅士”的创始人告诉赫芬顿邮报。“我们的文化教导了男人们该如何与他人建立身体上的联系,但是我们却忽视了性是非常情绪化的,它也是一种精神上的交流。”男人在性爱之前,期间以及之后都不会有任何心灵上的感触这种说法是完全不现实的,但是大多数人都已经对这种想法习以为常。”

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That’s starting to change, though. In a 2015 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, almost half of the women surveyed reported experiencing PCD at some point in their lives, and around 5 percent said they’d felt it regularly within the past month.

不过如今这种情况已经开始改变了。2015年“性医学杂志”颁布的一项研究中显示:近一半的被调查女性表示她们在自己人生中的某个阶段经历过性交后烦躁,而大约有5%的女士表示她们在过去的一个月里也时常会有这种感受。

A new study from the researchers published in June suggests that PCD is almost just as prent in men: In an online survey of 1,208 male participants, around 40 percent of men said they’d experienced PCD in their lifetime, and 4 percent said it was a regular occurrence.

而研究人员在六月发表的最新研究结果表明,“性爱后烦躁”在男性中也几乎同样普遍,在一项针对1208名男性参与者的在线调查显示:约有40%的男性表示自己在一生中曾经历过性爱后烦躁的症状,而4%的男性表示这种情况时常发生在自己身上。

In excerpts from the survey, men admit to feeling a “strong sense of self-loathing” about themselves post-sex and “a lot of shame.” Others say they’d experienced “crying fits and full on depressive episodes” after sex that sometimes left their significant others worried.

在调查录入中我们发现,男性承认自己在性爱后会感到一种“强烈的自我厌恶”以及“大量的羞耻情绪”。另一些人则说,他们在性爱后经历过“哭泣和抑郁症发作”的情况,这有时候会让他们的伴侣非常担心。

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More often than not, Schweitzer thinks PCD is a culmination of both physical and psychological factors. Physically, orgasms activate a flood of endorphins and other feel-good hormones, but the neurochemical prolactin follows, resulting in a sometimes intense comedown. Psychologically, the paper establishes a correlation between the frequency of PCD and “high psychological distress” in other aspects of a person’s life.

施韦泽认为,“性交后烦躁”是身体因素和心理因素影响下产生的综合反应。从身体方面上来讲,性高潮会激活大量的内啡肽以及其他让人们感觉良好的荷尔蒙,但是影响神经系统的催产素随之而来,有时会造成一种情绪迅速低落的症状。而从心理角度上来看,这篇论文把PCD和人们在生活其他方面所遭遇的“高层次的痛苦”联系了起来。

Sometimes, the psychological factors are compounded by the knowledge that no emotional connection exists with a sexual partner, said Kimberly Resnick Anderson, a Los Angeles-based sex therapist unaffiliated with the study.

与该研究无关的驻扎于洛杉矶的性治疗师金伯利安德森则表示:有时候,人们在心理方面与自己的性伴侣缺乏情感上的联系也会激发“性爱后烦操”情绪的产生。

“Some of my clients, especially males with sex addictions, report post-coital dysphoria because deep down, they know there is no bond between them and the person they are sleeping with,” she told HuffPost.

她对赫芬顿邮报说道:“我的一些客户,尤其是一些患有性瘾的男性客户表示自己之所以会在性交后烦躁不安,是因为他们知道自己和性伴侣之间在精神上并没有任何的亲密联系。”

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And be honest about your emotions after sex, without assigning blame to yourself or your partner. As the growing research shows, men and women feel a full spectrum of emotions after sex, and that’s perfectly normal.That’s something that Alexander, the writer who experienced PCD often in his 20s, had to learn on his own as he approached his 30s.

而且你应该在性爱后诚实地面对自己的情绪,而不是把责任归咎于你自己或者你的伴侣。越来越多的研究表明,男人们和女人们都会在性爱之后产生一种百感交集的情绪,这是非常正常的。作家亚历山大在自己20多岁时时常会经历性爱后烦躁的困扰,而这便是他在奔三时所领会的一些感悟。